Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Can I get a F*ck you?

I got no game. I'm still trying find it against Asian guys at the UofT gym. I don't know the difference between speed at the NCAA or the NBA level. Cause yeah, I'm an arm chair analyst. Doug Smith - I know you see me. I know that it exists because Rick Kamla mentioned it. Cause he's on NBA TV (period.). If I had good wifi, I'd have told you about how I wiki'd his ass and read a couple sentences and told myself that I know enough about him to write about him. Unfortunately, I pay for the utilities at my house.

Nah, on the real though - I understand - I will get to the point. The Raps suck - I think that's what you wanted to hear anyways. Kobe will win again with his fractured finger and everything. The headlines on NYTimes will read "Kobe scored > 50 points despite broken finger." It will be beautiful, mind you like Russel Crowe (You got that after you noticed the comma and you still thought it was lame - cool - me f*ing too).

DESPITE all that, I've convinced myself that I will watch, err, I mean waste time watching, at least half of Raps game this year because they are supposed to be better, even tough I believed O'Neal last year when he mentioned the forbidden American word: "championship" (for real - how could I be so stupid!). That, well you know the rest, did not pan out. But yeah, check this math out about how I'll watch half of the Raps' games: 82/2 * 2.5 =~ 102 hours. Or 102/24 = 4.25 days. Holy sh*t. Only if I spent that much time working on my resume.

Anyways, I came on here to say one thing (I realize that it's my first post), but I just just got all Jay Z'd reminiscing about T.O .. can i live?. I've lived in the states, it simply doesn't compare to Toronto unless of course you play for Knicks (I'm sorry but NYC is best city in the world). LA is close only because of Kobe. But what I don't understand is why Canadians have an inferiority complex about TO. Listen (but I really mean F*ing Listen), T.O is second best city in North America. The fact that Hedo chose T.O over steel factory-ass Portland should not impress you. I've been to Portland. They got nice seals only cuz they close to the Pacific. Toronto - we got strip clubs and shit. And shawarma. And Ox tail. And Curry. And food from every culture except maybe one.

What I mean is this. We can't let athletes front when they are drafted, traded or acquired by Toronto. We've already have established the fact that we are a great city - we need more. We need good players. We should worry when a player describes our diversity as one of the reasons they picked T.O. We got diversity and all that - but players like Turk should understand it is not why picked him. If we wanted a Turk - we'd have picked that guy that owns the Shawarma joint near Spadina and Bloor.

So next time a players hypes up Toronto for it's diversity, we should all be like "Can I get a f*ck you?"


  1. "Doug Smith - I know you see me" hahaha

  2. Shit man. I've been to 1/2 of the nhl cities. They range from "bum fuck" to "middle of nowhere shit hole" (those are the better ones). Toronto is really on a class of its own.

    If I were an NBA player, I wouldn't think twice before coming to TO. But there is so much ignorance when it comes to the taxing system. I would pay 20% tax and be a reserve on the Raptors if it meant I could stay away from Detroit. Shit I'd mow BC's lawn for under minimum wage instead of playing for Detroit.

  3. comment ^^^^^

    lmao! I'm sure BC has slave labour for that.

  4. be careful what you wish for!!! lol

  5. lol yeah I mean...look where Charlie Villanueva is now! Although even freaking Detroit has a better record than us at this point (sigh..)